Humor: Best of Fortunes for Monday December 25, 2023

In 1914, the first crossword puzzle was printed in a newspaper...
In 1914, the first crossword puzzle was printed in a newspaper. The creator received $4000 down ... and $3000 across.

A gentleman, otherwise meek, Detested with passion the leek; ...
A gentleman, otherwise meek, Detested with passion the leek; When offered one out He dealt such a clout To the maid, she was down for a week. -- Edward Gorey

There once was a young man from Boston Who drove around town...
There once was a young man from Boston Who drove around town in an Austin, There was room for his ass, And a gallon of gas, So he hung out his balls and he lost 'em.

There was a young sailor from Brighton, Who remarked to...
There was a young sailor from Brighton, Who remarked to his girl, "You're a tight one." She replied, "'Pon my soul, You're in the wrong hole; There's plenty of room in the right one."

Shirley MacLaine died today in a freak psychic collision today...
Shirley MacLaine died today in a freak psychic collision today. Two freaks in a van [Oh no!! It's the Copyright Police!!] Her aura-charred body was laid to rest after a eulogy by Jackie Collins, fellow member of SAFE [Society of Asinine Flake...