Humor: Best of Fortunes for Thursday December 7, 2023

"This is a test of the Emergency Broadcast System...
"This is a test of the Emergency Broadcast System. If this had been an actual emergency, do you really think we'd stick around to tell you?"

THIS IS PLEDGE WEEK FOR THE FORTUNE PROGRAM If you like...
THIS IS PLEDGE WEEK FOR THE FORTUNE PROGRAM If you like the fortune program, why not support it now with your contribution of a pithy fortune, clean or obscene? We cannot continue without your support. Less than 14% of all fortune users...

As the breeches-buoy swing towards the rocks, Its occupant...
As the breeches-buoy swing towards the rocks, Its occupant cried, "Save my socks! I could not bear the loss, For with scarlet silk floss My mama has embroidered their clocks." -- Edward Gorey

There once was a couple named Kelley, Who lived their life...
There once was a couple named Kelley, Who lived their life belly to belly. Because in their haste They used library paste, Instead of petroleum jelly.

There once was a man from Madras, Whose balls were made out...
There once was a man from Madras, Whose balls were made out of brass. When they clanged together, They played "Stormy Weather", And lightning shot out of his ass.

There was a young fellow from Leeds Who swallowed a package...
There was a young fellow from Leeds Who swallowed a package of seeds. Great tufts of grass Sprouted out of his ass And his balls were all covered with weeds.

Microsoft Fortune v1.1 (c) 1901-1998 by Microsoft, Corp.,...
Microsoft Fortune v1.1 (c) 1901-1998 by Microsoft, Corp., Redmond, USA FORTUNE caused a general protection fault in module FORTUNE at 0123:4567. Press [ OK ] to reboot.