Humor: Best of Fortunes for Saturday January 20, 2024

A frustrated lady named Alice Used a dynamite stick for...
A frustrated lady named Alice Used a dynamite stick for a phallus. They found her vagina In North Carolina And bits of her tits were in Dallas.

There once was a queen of Bulgaria Whose bush had grown hairier...
There once was a queen of Bulgaria Whose bush had grown hairier and hairier, Till a prince from Peru Who came up for a screw Had to hunt for her cunt with a terrier.

There was a gay countess of Bray, And you may think it odd when...
There was a gay countess of Bray, And you may think it odd when I say, That in spite of high station, Rank and education, She always spelled cunt with a 'k'.

There was a young cook with the art Of making a delicious tart ...
There was a young cook with the art Of making a delicious tart With a handful of shit, Some snot and some spit, And he'd flavor the whole with a fart.

There was a young girl who begat Three brats, by name Nat, Pat,...
There was a young girl who begat Three brats, by name Nat, Pat, and Tat. It was fun in the breeding, But hell in the feeding, When she found there was no tit for Tat.

There was a young lady named Etta Who was constantly seen in...
There was a young lady named Etta Who was constantly seen in a swetta. Three reasons she had: To keep warm wasn't bad, But the other two reasons were betta.

There was a young sailor from Brighton, Who remarked to...
There was a young sailor from Brighton, Who remarked to his girl, "You're a tight one." She replied, "'Pon my soul, You're in the wrong hole; There's plenty of room in the right one."

Oblivion together does not frighten me, beloved...
Oblivion together does not frighten me, beloved. -- Thalassa (in Anne Mulhall's body), "Return to Tomorrow", stardate 4770.3.