Humor: Best of Fortunes for Tuesday February 20, 2024

There once was a man from Madras, Whose balls were made out...
There once was a man from Madras, Whose balls were made out of brass. When they clanged together, They played "Stormy Weather", And lightning shot out of his ass.

There was a young man of Bombay Who buggered his dad once...
There was a young man of Bombay Who buggered his dad once a day. He said, "I like, rather, Fucking my father -- He's clean, and there's nothing to pay."

Ladles and Jellyspoons! I come before you to stand behind...
Ladles and Jellyspoons! I come before you to stand behind you, To tell you something I know nothing about. Since next Thursday will be Good Friday, There will be a fathers' meeting, for mothers only. Wear your best clothes, if you don't have any,...

Lady, lady, should you meet One whose ways are...
Lady, lady, should you meet One whose ways are all discreet, One who murmurs that his wife Is the lodestar of his life, One who keeps assuring you That he never was untrue, Never loved another one... Lady, lady, better run! -- Dorothy...

Last night I met upon the stair A little man who wasn't...
Last night I met upon the stair A little man who wasn't there. He wasn't there again today. Gee how I wish he'd go away!

Latin is a language, As dead as can be. First it killed...
Latin is a language, As dead as can be. First it killed the Romans, And now it's killing me.

Let us go then you and I while the night is laid out against...
Let us go then you and I while the night is laid out against the sky like a smear of mustard on an old pork pie. "Nice poem Tom. I have ideas for changes though, why not come over?" -- Ezra

Let us treat men and women well; Treat them as if they were...
Let us treat men and women well; Treat them as if they were real; Perhaps they are. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson