Humor: Best of Fortunes for Monday February 26, 2024

A Mormon is a man that has the bad taste and the religion to...
A Mormon is a man that has the bad taste and the religion to do what a good many other people are restrained from doing by conscientious scruples and the police. -- Mr. Dooley

Aliquid melius quam pessimum optimum non est.
Aliquid melius quam pessimum optimum non est.

There was a young fellow named Paul Who confessed, "I have...
There was a young fellow named Paul Who confessed, "I have only one ball. But the size of my prick Is God's dirtiest trick, For my girls always ask, 'Is that all?'"

The deficiency will never show itself during the test runs.
The deficiency will never show itself during the test runs.

When things are going well, someone will inevitably experiment...
When things are going well, someone will inevitably experiment detrimentally.

"Confound these ancestors.... They've stolen our best...
"Confound these ancestors.... They've stolen our best ideas!" - Ben Jonson

"IBM uses what I like to call the 'hole-in-the-ground...
"IBM uses what I like to call the 'hole-in-the-ground technique' to destroy the competition..... IBM digs a big HOLE in the ground and covers it with leaves. It then puts a big POT OF GOLD nearby. Then it gives the call, 'Hey, look at all this gold,...

"There are things that are so serious that you can only...
"There are things that are so serious that you can only joke about them" - Heisenberg

The seven eyes of Ningauble the Wizard floated back to his hood...
The seven eyes of Ningauble the Wizard floated back to his hood as he reported to Fafhrd: "I have seen much, yet cannot explain all. The Gray Mouser is exactly twenty-five feet below the deepest cellar in the palace of Gilpkerio Kistomerces. Even...

When you and I are far apart Can sorrow break your tender...
When you and I are far apart Can sorrow break your tender heart? I love you darling, yes I do; Sleep is so sweet when I dream of you; All you are is a blossoming rose. Night is here so I must close. With care read the first word of each line. You will...