Humor: Best of Fortunes for Monday June 3, 2024

A clever young man named Eugene Invented a jack-off machine...
A clever young man named Eugene Invented a jack-off machine. On the twenty-third stroke The fuckin' thing broke And beat both his balls to a creame.

A computer, to print out a fact, Will divide, multiply,...
A computer, to print out a fact, Will divide, multiply, and subtract. But this output can be No more than debris, If the input was short of exact. -- Gigo

A couple was fishing near Clombe When the maid began looking...
A couple was fishing near Clombe When the maid began looking quite glum, And said, "Bother the fish! I'd rather coish!" Which they did -- which was why they had come.

There was a young man named Zerubbabub Who belonged to...
There was a young man named Zerubbabub Who belonged to the Block, Fuck & Bugger Club But the pride of his life Were the tits of his wife -- One real, and one India-rubber bub.