Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Saturday January 30, 2021

There was a young lady named Banker, Who slept while the ship...
There was a young lady named Banker, Who slept while the ship lay at anchor, She woke in dismay, When she heard the mate say, "Now hoist up the topsheet and spanker."

There was a young lady of Twickenham Who thought men had...
There was a young lady of Twickenham Who thought men had not enough prick in 'em. On her knees every day To God she would pray To lengthen and strengthen and thicken 'em.

There's a dowager near Sweden Landing Whose manners are odd...
There's a dowager near Sweden Landing Whose manners are odd and demanding. It's one of her jests To suck off her guests -- She hates to keep gentlemen standing.

There's a lovely young lady named Shittlecock Who loves to play...
There's a lovely young lady named Shittlecock Who loves to play diddle and fiddle-cock, But her cunt's got a pucker That's best not to fuck, or When least you expect it to, it'll lock.

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all...
Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils. -- Hector Berlioz