Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Monday June 3, 2024

A charmer from old Amarillo, Sick of finding strange heads...
A charmer from old Amarillo, Sick of finding strange heads on her pillow, Decided one day That to keep men away She would stuff up her crevice with Brillo.

A limerick packs laughs anatomical Into space that is quite...
A limerick packs laughs anatomical Into space that is quite economical. But the good ones I've seen So seldom are clean, And the clean ones so seldom are comical.

A young Juliet of St. Louis On a balcony stood acting screwy...
A young Juliet of St. Louis On a balcony stood acting screwy. Her Romeo climbed, But he wasn't well timed, And half-way up, off he went -- blooey!

And then there's the story that's fraught With disaster --...
And then there's the story that's fraught With disaster -- of balls that got caught, When a chap took a crap In the woods, and a trap Underneath... Oh, I can't bear the thought!

There once was a bishop from Birmingham Who deflowered young...
There once was a bishop from Birmingham Who deflowered young girls while confirming 'em. As they knelt on the hassock He lifted his cassock And slipped his episcopal worm in 'em.

There was a young girl from Decatur Who was raped by...
There was a young girl from Decatur Who was raped by an alligator. But no one quite knew How she relished that screw, For after he screwed her, he ate her.

The carbonyl is polarized, The delta end is plus...
The carbonyl is polarized, The delta end is plus. The nucleophile will thus attack, The carbon nucleus. Addition makes an alcohol, Of types there are but three. It makes a bond, to correspond, From C to shining C. -- Prof. Frank...