Humor: Best of Fortunes for Sunday March 25, 2007

"Nuclear war would mean abolition of most comforts,...
"Nuclear war would mean abolition of most comforts, and disruption of normal routines, for children and adults alike." -- Willard F. Libby, "You *Can* Survive Atomic Attack"

ARIES (Mar 21 - Apr 19) You are the pioneer type...
ARIES (Mar 21 - Apr 19) You are the pioneer type and hold most people in contempt. You are quick tempered, impatient, and scornful of advice. You are not very nice.

There's nothing like the face of a kid eating a Hershey bar.
There's nothing like the face of a kid eating a Hershey bar.

A hardware debugger named Court Shoved his tool in an Ethernet...
A hardware debugger named Court Shoved his tool in an Ethernet port. But its buffer array Only handled 1K, So the port's driver cut it off short.

There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long...
There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, As he wiped off his chin, If my ear were a cunt I could fuck it!

There was a young man of Coblenz Whose ballocks were simply...
There was a young man of Coblenz Whose ballocks were simply immense: It took forty-four draymen, A priest and three laymen To carry them thither and thence.

Fast ship? You mean you've never heard of the Millennium...
Fast ship? You mean you've never heard of the Millennium Falcon? -- Han Solo

A girl's conscience doesn't really keep her from doing anything...
A girl's conscience doesn't really keep her from doing anything wrong-- it merely keeps her from enjoying it.

This life is a test. It is only a test. Had this been...
This life is a test. It is only a test. Had this been an actual life, you would have received further instructions as to what to do and where to go.

Death is nature's way of telling you to slow down.
Death is nature's way of telling you to slow down.