Humor: Best of Fortunes for Sunday November 4, 2012

An impotent Scot named MacDougall Had to husband his sperm...
An impotent Scot named MacDougall Had to husband his sperm and be frugal. He was gathering semen To gender a he-man, By screwing his wife through a bugle.

There was a young girl of Aberystwyth Who took grain to...
There was a young girl of Aberystwyth Who took grain to the mill to get grist with. The miller's sun, Jack, Laid her flat on her back, And united the organs they pissed with.

There was a young man from Purdue Who was only just learning...
There was a young man from Purdue Who was only just learning to screw, But he hadn't the knack, And he got too far back -- In the right church, but in the wrong pew.

Uh-oh!! I forgot to submit to COMPULSORY URINALYSIS!
Uh-oh!! I forgot to submit to COMPULSORY URINALYSIS!

Reach into the thoughts of friends, And find they do not know...
Reach into the thoughts of friends, And find they do not know your name. Squeeze the teddy bear too tight, And watch the feathers burst the seams. Touch the stained glass with your cheek, And feel its chill upon your blood. Hold a candle to...

Don't take life seriously, you'll never get out alive.
Don't take life seriously, you'll never get out alive.