Humor: Best of Fortunes for Friday November 2, 2012

A man is not complete until he is married -- then he...
A man is not complete until he is married -- then he is finished.

There once was a girl from Cornell Whose teats were shaped like...
There once was a girl from Cornell Whose teats were shaped like a bell. When you touched them they shrunk, Except when she was drunk, And then they got bigger than hell.

There once was a lawyer named Rex With minuscule organs...
There once was a lawyer named Rex With minuscule organs of sex. Arraigned for exposure, He maintained with composure, "De minimis non curat lex." [Trans: the law does not concern itself with small things. Ed.]

There was an old man of Brienz The length of whose cock...
There was an old man of Brienz The length of whose cock was immense: With one swerve he could plug A boy's bottom in Zug, And a kitchen-maid's cunt in Coblenz.

Ladles and Jellyspoons! I come before you to stand behind...
Ladles and Jellyspoons! I come before you to stand behind you, To tell you something I know nothing about. Since next Thursday will be Good Friday, There will be a fathers' meeting, for mothers only. Wear your best clothes, if you don't have any,...