Humor: Best of Fortunes for Monday November 25, 2013

There once was a man named McGruder, Who canoed with a girl...
There once was a man named McGruder, Who canoed with a girl in Bermuder. But the girl thought it crude, To be wooed in the nude, So McGru took an oar and subduder.

There once was a man named Parridge With peculiar views...
There once was a man named Parridge With peculiar views on marriage. He sucked off his brother, Fucked his own mother, And gobbled his sister's miscarriage.

Early to rise, early to bed, makes a man healthy, wealthy...
Early to rise, early to bed, makes a man healthy, wealthy and dead. -- Terry Pratchett, "The Light Fantastic"