Humor: Best of Fortunes for the month of January, 2013

There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long...
There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, As he wiped off his chin, If my ear were a cunt I could fuck it!

There once was a man named McSweeny Who spilled lots of gin...
There once was a man named McSweeny Who spilled lots of gin on his weeney So just to be couth He added vermouth And slipped his best girl a martini.

When you and I are far apart Can sorrow break your tender...
When you and I are far apart Can sorrow break your tender heart? I love you darling, yes I do; Sleep is so sweet when I dream of you; All you are is a blossoming rose. Night is here so I must close. With care read the first word of each line. You will...

"It's bad luck to be superstitious." ...
"It's bad luck to be superstitious." -- Andrew W. Mathis

If God is perfect, why did He create discontinuous functions?
If God is perfect, why did He create discontinuous functions?

Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes"...
Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer. -- Swami X

You will be Told about it Tomorrow. Go Home and Prepare...
You will be Told about it Tomorrow. Go Home and Prepare Thyself.

A man without a woman is like a fish without gills.
A man without a woman is like a fish without gills.

A man would still do something out of sheer perversity -...
A man would still do something out of sheer perversity - he would create destruction and chaos - just to gain his point... and if all this could in turn be analyzed and prevented by predicting that it would occur, then man would deliberately go mad...

Anarchy may not be a better form of government, but it's better...
Anarchy may not be a better form of government, but it's better than no government at all.