Humor: Best of Fortunes for the month of February, 2013

ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken...
ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und corkenpoppen mit spitzensparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dummkopfen. Das rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands in...

Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly...
Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly. -- Voltaire

Maturity is only a short break in adolescence...
Maturity is only a short break in adolescence. -- Jules Feiffer

Pope Goestheveezl was the shortest reigning pope in the history...
Pope Goestheveezl was the shortest reigning pope in the history of the Church, reigning for two hours and six minutes on 1 April 1866. The white smoke had hardly faded into the blue of the Vatican skies before it dawned on the assembled multitudes...

Q: Why did the tachyon cross the road? A: Because it was...
Q: Why did the tachyon cross the road? A: Because it was on the other side.

The Arkansas legislature passed a law that states that...
The Arkansas legislature passed a law that states that the Arkansas River can rise no higher than to the Main Street bridge in Little Rock.

The answer is that libdialog, the library on which sysinstall...
The answer is that libdialog, the library on which sysinstall depends for these menus, is genuinely evil. It is the unloved, satanic bastard child of multiple parents and torturing users like yourself constitutes the only joy in life it has left...

The assertion that "all men are created equal" was...
The assertion that "all men are created equal" was of no practical use in effecting our separation from Great Britain and it was placed in the Declaration not for that, but for future use. -- Abraham Lincoln

Why did the Roman Empire collapse? What is the Latin...
Why did the Roman Empire collapse? What is the Latin for office automation?

If your bread is stale, make toast.
If your bread is stale, make toast.