Humor: Best of Fortunes for Wednesday April 9, 2014

Chapter 1 The story so far: In the beginning...
Chapter 1 The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move. -- Douglas Adams, "The Restaurant at the End of the Universe"

A frustrated lady named Alice Used a dynamite stick for...
A frustrated lady named Alice Used a dynamite stick for a phallus. They found her vagina In North Carolina And bits of her tits were in Dallas.

There once was a Swede in Minneapolis, Discovered his sex life...
There once was a Swede in Minneapolis, Discovered his sex life was hapless: The more he would screw The more he'd want to, And he feared he would soon be quite sapless.

There once was a man from Racine, Who invented a screwing...
There once was a man from Racine, Who invented a screwing machine. Both concave and convex, It could please either sex, But, oh, what a bastard to clean!

There was a young girl of Aberystwyth Who took grain to...
There was a young girl of Aberystwyth Who took grain to the mill to get grist with. The miller's sun, Jack, Laid her flat on her back, And united the organs they pissed with.

There was a young laundress named Wrangle Whose tits tilted...
There was a young laundress named Wrangle Whose tits tilted up at an angle. "They may tickle my chin," She said with a grin, "But at least they keep out of the mangle."

There was a young man from Bombay Who fashioned a cunt out...
There was a young man from Bombay Who fashioned a cunt out of clay But the heat of his prick Turned it into a brick And rubbed all his foreskin away.