Humor: Best of Fortunes for Monday November 7, 2016

Don't be overly suspicious where it's not warranted.
Don't be overly suspicious where it's not warranted.

A pansy who lived in Khartoum Took a lesbian up to his room...
A pansy who lived in Khartoum Took a lesbian up to his room. They argued all night Over who had the right To do what, with which, and to whom.

There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long...
There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, As he wiped off his chin, If my ear were a cunt I could fuck it!

There once was a young man named Clyde Who fell in an outhouse,...
There once was a young man named Clyde Who fell in an outhouse, and died. He had a twin brother Who fell in another And now they're interred side by side.

There was a gay countess of Bray, And you may think it odd when...
There was a gay countess of Bray, And you may think it odd when I say, That in spite of high station, Rank and education, She always spelled cunt with a 'k'.

There was a young man from Kent Whose tool was so long that...
There was a young man from Kent Whose tool was so long that it bent. To save himself trouble He put it in double And instead of coming, he went.

There was a young man of Kildare Who was fucking a girl on...
There was a young man of Kildare Who was fucking a girl on the stair. The bannister broke, But he doubled his stroke And finished her off in mid-air.

Microsoft Corp., concerned by the growing popularity of...
Microsoft Corp., concerned by the growing popularity of the free 32-bit operating system for Intel systems, Linux, has employed a number of top programmers from the underground world of virus development. Bill Gates stated yesterday: "World...

This is the theory that Jack built. This is the flaw that...
This is the theory that Jack built. This is the flaw that lay in the theory that Jack built. This is the palpable verbal haze that hid the flaw that lay in...

Come live with me and be my love, And we will some...
Come live with me and be my love, And we will some new pleasures prove Of golden sands and crystal brooks With silken lines, and silver hooks. There's nothing that I wouldn't do If you would be my POSSLQ. You live with me, and I with you, And you will...

Come live with me, and be my love, And we will some...
Come live with me, and be my love, And we will some new pleasures prove Of golden sands, and crystal brooks, With silken lines, and silver hooks. -- John Donne