Humor: Best of Fortunes for Saturday November 26, 2016

Here in my heart, I am Helen; I'm Aspasia and Hero,...
Here in my heart, I am Helen; I'm Aspasia and Hero, at least. I'm Judith, and Jael, and Madame de Stael; I'm Salome, moon of the East. Here in my soul I am Sappho; Lady Hamilton am I, as well. In me R'ecamier vies with Kitty...

A contortionist hailing from Lynch Used to rent out his tool...
A contortionist hailing from Lynch Used to rent out his tool by the inch. A foot cost a quid -- He could and he did Stretch it to three in a pinch.

There once was a girl named Irene Who lived on distilled...
There once was a girl named Irene Who lived on distilled kerosene But she started absorbin' A new hydrocarbon And since then has never benzene.

There once was a pretty young Mrs. Whose tearful but short...
There once was a pretty young Mrs. Whose tearful but short story thrs. Her mind lost its grasp - Now she thinks she's an asp And just sits in the corner and hrs.

There was a family named Doe, An ideal family to know...
There was a family named Doe, An ideal family to know. As father screwed mother, She said, "You're heavier than brother." And he said, "Yes, Sis told me so!"