Humor: Best of Fortunes for Wednesday November 2, 2016

You will pass away very quickly.
You will pass away very quickly.

You will pay for your sins. If you have already paid, please...
You will pay for your sins. If you have already paid, please disregard this message.

A do-it-yourselfer named Alice, Used a dynamite stick for...
A do-it-yourselfer named Alice, Used a dynamite stick for a phallus. She blew her vagina To South Carolina, And her tits landed somewhere in Dallas. A cute friend of hers, Fanny Hill, Used two dynamite sticks for a dil. They...

There once was a man named Lodge, who had seatbelts installed...
There once was a man named Lodge, who had seatbelts installed in his Dodge. When his date was strapped in, He committed a sin, without ever leaving the garage.

There once was a man named McGruder, Who canoed with a girl...
There once was a man named McGruder, Who canoed with a girl in Bermuder. But the girl thought it crude, To be wooed in the nude, So McGru took an oar and subduder.

There was a gay countess of Bray, And you may think it odd when...
There was a gay countess of Bray, And you may think it odd when I say, That in spite of high station, Rank and education, She always spelled cunt with a 'k'.

There was a young gaucho named Bruno Who said, "There...
There was a young gaucho named Bruno Who said, "There is one thing I do know, Women are fine And children devine, But the llama is numero uno."

For God's sake, stop researching for a while and begin to think!
For God's sake, stop researching for a while and begin to think!

Ladies and Gentlemen, Hobos and Tramps, Cross-eyed mosquitos...
Ladies and Gentlemen, Hobos and Tramps, Cross-eyed mosquitos and bowlegged ants, I come before you to stand behind you To tell you of something I know nothing about. Next Thursday (which is good Friday), There will be a convention held in the Women's...