Humor: Best of Fortunes for Monday April 18, 2016

There once was a man from Racine, Who invented a screwing...
There once was a man from Racine, Who invented a screwing machine. Both concave and convex, It could please either sex, But, oh, what a bastard to clean!

There once was a girl named Irene Who lived on distilled...
There once was a girl named Irene Who lived on distilled kerosene But she started absorbin' A new hydrocarbon And since then has never benzene.

There was a young man of Natal Who was fucking a Hottentot...
There was a young man of Natal Who was fucking a Hottentot gal. Said she, "You're a sluggard!" Said he, "You be buggered! I like to fuck slow and I shall."

When you and I are far apart Can sorrow break your tender...
When you and I are far apart Can sorrow break your tender heart? I love you darling, yes I do; Sleep is so sweet when I dream of you; All you are is a blossoming rose. Night is here so I must close. With care read the first word of each line. You will...