Humor: Best of Fortunes for Friday April 29, 2016

Penn's aunts made great apple pies at low prices. No one else...
Penn's aunts made great apple pies at low prices. No one else in town could compete with the pie rates of Penn's aunts. During the American Revolution, a Britisher tried to raid a farm. He stumbled across a rock on the ground and fell,...

[We] use bad software and bad machines for the wrong things...
[We] use bad software and bad machines for the wrong things. -- R.W. Hamming

There once was a bishop from Birmingham Who deflowered young...
There once was a bishop from Birmingham Who deflowered young girls while confirming 'em. As they knelt on the hassock He lifted his cassock And slipped his episcopal worm in 'em.

There once was a man from Racine, Who invented a screwing...
There once was a man from Racine, Who invented a screwing machine. Both concave and convex, It could please either sex, But, oh, what a bastard to clean!