Humor: Best of Fortunes for Sunday April 3, 2016

"I don't know what you mean by `glory,'" Alice said ...
"I don't know what you mean by `glory,'" Alice said Humpty Dumpty smiled contemptuously. "Of course you don't -- till I tell you. I meant `there's a nice knock-down argument for you!'" "But glory doesn't mean `a...

Alas, I am dying beyond my means. -- Oscar...
Alas, I am dying beyond my means. -- Oscar Wilde, as he sipped champagne on his deathbed

A person is just about as big as the things that make him angry.
A person is just about as big as the things that make him angry.

There once was a man with a hernia Who said to his doctor,...
There once was a man with a hernia Who said to his doctor, "Gol dern ya, When you work on my middle Be sure you don't fiddle With things that do not concern ya."

There was a young lady from Wheeling Who had a peculiar...
There was a young lady from Wheeling Who had a peculiar feeling. She laid on her back And tickled her crack And pissed all over the ceiling.