Humor: Best of Fortunes for Monday March 13, 2017

ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken...
ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und corkenpoppen mit spitzensparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dummkopfen. Das rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands in...

If you push the "extra ice" button on the soft drink...
If you push the "extra ice" button on the soft drink vending machine, you won't get any ice. If you push the "no ice" button, you'll get ice, but no cup.

There was a young girl of Angina Who stretched catgut across...
There was a young girl of Angina Who stretched catgut across her vagina. From the love-making frock (With the proper sized cock) Came Toccata and Fugue in D minor.

There was a young person of Kent Who was famous wherever...
There was a young person of Kent Who was famous wherever he went. All the way through a fuck, He would quack like a duck, And he crowed like a cock when he spent.

People will accept your idea much more readily if you tell them...
People will accept your idea much more readily if you tell them Benjamin Franklin said it first.