Humor: Best of Fortunes for Saturday March 18, 2017

Bell Labs Unix -- Reach out and grep someone.
Bell Labs Unix -- Reach out and grep someone.

What makes the universe so hard to comprehend is that there's...
What makes the universe so hard to comprehend is that there's nothing to compare it with.

What the hell, go ahead and put all your eggs in one basket.
What the hell, go ahead and put all your eggs in one basket.

What the large print giveth, the small print taketh away.
What the large print giveth, the small print taketh away.

better !pout !cry better watchout lpr why santa claus <north...
better !pout !cry better watchout lpr why santa claus <north pole >town cat /etc/passwd >list ncheck list ncheck list cat list | grep naughty >nogiftlist cat list | grep nice >giftlist santa claus <north pole > town who | grep...

This is the theory that Jack built. This is the flaw that...
This is the theory that Jack built. This is the flaw that lay in the theory that Jack built. This is the palpable verbal haze that hid the flaw that lay in...

There once was a man named Lodge, who had seatbelts installed...
There once was a man named Lodge, who had seatbelts installed in his Dodge. When his date was strapped in, He committed a sin, without ever leaving the garage.

There was a young man from Nantucket Whose cock was so long...
There was a young man from Nantucket Whose cock was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, While wiping his chin, "If my ear was a cunt, I could fuck it."