Humor: Best of Fortunes for Friday March 31, 2017

There once was a man from Nantucket Whose dick was so long...
There once was a man from Nantucket Whose dick was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin As he wiped off his chin, "If my ear was a cunt, I could fuck it."

There was a young lady from Wheeling Who had a peculiar...
There was a young lady from Wheeling Who had a peculiar feeling. She laid on her back And tickled her crack And pissed all over the ceiling.

There was a young plumber named Lee Who was plumbing his girl...
There was a young plumber named Lee Who was plumbing his girl by the sea. She said, "Stop your plumbing, There's somebody coming" Said the plumber, still plumbing, "It's me."

There was a young sailor from Brighton, Who remarked to...
There was a young sailor from Brighton, Who remarked to his girl, "You're a tight one." She replied, "'Pon my soul, You're in the wrong hole; There's plenty of room in the right one."

Who is W.O. Baker, and why is he saying those terrible things...
Who is W.O. Baker, and why is he saying those terrible things about me?

You will be a winner today. Pick a fight with a four-year-old.
You will be a winner today. Pick a fight with a four-year-old.

Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable...
Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. -- Woody Allen, "Annie Hall"