Humor: Best of Fortunes for Sunday September 6, 2020

"Twas bergen and the eirie road Did mahwah into patterson:...
"Twas bergen and the eirie road Did mahwah into patterson: "Beware the Hopatcong, my son! All jersey were the ocean groves, The teeth that bite, the nails And the red bank bayonne. that claw! ...

There once was a young man from Boston Who drove around town...
There once was a young man from Boston Who drove around town in an Austin, There was room for his ass, And a gallon of gas, So he hung out his balls and he lost 'em.

Don't look back, the lemmings are gaining on you.
Don't look back, the lemmings are gaining on you.

The Least Successful Animal Rescue The firemen's strike...
The Least Successful Animal Rescue The firemen's strike of 1978 made possible one of the great animal rescue attempts of all time. Valiantly, the British Army had taken over emergency firefighting and on 14 January they were called out by...

A mathematician named Hall Has a hexahedronical ball, ...
A mathematician named Hall Has a hexahedronical ball, And the cube of its weight Times his pecker's, plus eight Is his phone number -- give him a call...

There was a young lady named Bright Who could travel much...
There was a young lady named Bright Who could travel much faster than light. She took off one day, In a relative way, And returned on the previous night.

There was an old man of St. Bees, Who was stung in the arm by...
There was an old man of St. Bees, Who was stung in the arm by a wasp. When asked, "Does it hurt?" He relied, "No, it doesn't. I'm so glad that it wasn't a hornet." -- W.S. Gilbert

You are the only person to ever get this message.
You are the only person to ever get this message.

The marvels of today's modern technology include...
The marvels of today's modern technology include the development of a soda can, when discarded will last forever ... and a $7,000 car which when properly cared for will rust out in two or three years.