Humor: Best of Fortunes for Thursday December 23, 2021

Q: What's tiny and yellow and very, very, dangerous? A: ...
Q: What's tiny and yellow and very, very, dangerous? A: A canary with the super-user password.

Old programmers never die. They just branch to a new address.
Old programmers never die. They just branch to a new address.

A dentist, young doctor Malone, Got a charming girl patient...
A dentist, young doctor Malone, Got a charming girl patient alone, And, in his depravity, Filled the wrong cavity. God, how his practice has grown.

A distinguished professor from Swarthmore Got along with a sexy...
A distinguished professor from Swarthmore Got along with a sexy young sophomore. As quick as a glance He stripped off his pants, But he found that the sophomore'd got off more.

A farmer I know named O'Doole Had a long and incredible tool...
A farmer I know named O'Doole Had a long and incredible tool. He can use it to plow, Or to diddle a cow, Or just as a cue-stick at pool.

A gifted young fellow from Sparta Was widely renowned as...
A gifted young fellow from Sparta Was widely renowned as a farta'. He could fart anything From "Of Thee I Sing," To Beethoven's "Moonlight Sonata."

A girl of uncertain nativity Had an ass of extreme sensitivity ...
A girl of uncertain nativity Had an ass of extreme sensitivity While she sat on the lap Of a German or Jap, She could sense Fifth Column activity.

A hacker-turned-pervert named Fisk Made love to the drive...
A hacker-turned-pervert named Fisk Made love to the drive of his disk. The thing circumsized him, Which rather suprised him. He wasn't aware of *that* risk.

There once was a spaceman named Spock Who had a huge Vulcanized...
There once was a spaceman named Spock Who had a huge Vulcanized cock. A girl from Missouri Whose name was Uhura Just fainted away from the shock.

There was a young lady of Wheeling Said to her beau, "I've...
There was a young lady of Wheeling Said to her beau, "I've a feeling My little brown jug Has need of a plug" -- And straightaway she started to peeling.

There was a young man from New Haven Who had an affair with...
There was a young man from New Haven Who had an affair with a raven. He said with a grin As he wiped off his chin, "Nevermore!"

There was a young man from Racine Who invented a fucking...
There was a young man from Racine Who invented a fucking machine. Concave or convex, It served either sex, But oh what a bitch to keep clean.

There was a young man of Devizes, Whose balls were of different...
There was a young man of Devizes, Whose balls were of different sizes. One was so small, It was nothing at all; The other took numerous prizes.