Humor: Best of Fortunes for Friday April 26, 2024

A physical fellow named Fisk Could screw at a rate very brisk...
A physical fellow named Fisk Could screw at a rate very brisk. So fast was his action The Fitzgerald contraction Would shrink up his rod to a disk.

A sex-loving coed named Bree Caught the clap from her Apple...
A sex-loving coed named Bree Caught the clap from her Apple IIE. The joystick, she found, Had been fooling around With a neighboring student's PC.

A silly young man from Hong Kong Had hands that were skinny...
A silly young man from Hong Kong Had hands that were skinny and long. He ate rice with his fingers-- The taste of it lingers, But now all his fingers are gone.

There once was a man from Calcutta Who used to beat off in...
There once was a man from Calcutta Who used to beat off in the gutta The heat of the sun Affected his gun And turned all his cream into butta!

There was a young girl from Dundee, From her fanny there grew...
There was a young girl from Dundee, From her fanny there grew a plum tree. No one ate the nice fruit, To tell you the truth, Because they knew it came from her tooty-toot-toot.

There was a young man from Kent Whose tool was so long that...
There was a young man from Kent Whose tool was so long that it bent. To save himself trouble He put it in double And instead of coming, he went.

Penn's aunts made great apple pies at low prices. No one else...
Penn's aunts made great apple pies at low prices. No one else in town could compete with the pie rates of Penn's aunts.

The boy stood on the burning deck, Eating peanuts by...
The boy stood on the burning deck, Eating peanuts by the peck. His father called him, but he could not go, For he loved those peanuts so.