Humor: Best of Fortunes for Tuesday September 5, 2006

In Denver it is unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your...
In Denver it is unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next-door neighbor.

The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of...
The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy.

A Scotsman was strolling across High Street one day wearing...
A Scotsman was strolling across High Street one day wearing his kilt. As he neared the far curb, he noticed two young blondes in a red convertible eyeing him and giggling. One of them called out, "Hey, Scotty! What's worn under the kilt?" ...

In youth, it was a way I had To do my best to please,...
In youth, it was a way I had To do my best to please, And change, with every passing lad, To suit his theories. But now I know the things I know, And do the things I do; And if you do not like me so, To hell, my love, with you! --...

Roses are red violets are blue I am schizophrenic and so am I
Roses are red violets are blue I am schizophrenic and so am I

"Can you imagine how life could be improved if we could...
"Can you imagine how life could be improved if we could do away with jealousy, greed, hate ..." "It can also be improved by eliminating love, tenderness, sentiment -- the other side of the coin" -- Dr. Roger Corby...

How much does she love you? Less than you'll ever know.
How much does she love you? Less than you'll ever know.

It's easier to fight for one's principles than to live up...
It's easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.

The Preacher, the Politician, the Teacher, Were each...
The Preacher, the Politician, the Teacher, Were each of them once a kiddie. A child, indeed, is a wonderful creature. Do I want one? God Forbiddie! -- Ogden Nash