Humor: Best of Fortunes for Friday February 16, 2007

What this world needs is a good five-dollar plasma weapon.
What this world needs is a good five-dollar plasma weapon.

If people see that you mean them no harm, they'll never hurt...
If people see that you mean them no harm, they'll never hurt you, nine times out of ten!

Silly Sally was baby sitting. But Silly Sally was getting...
Silly Sally was baby sitting. But Silly Sally was getting bored. Thinking a walk would help, she put the baby in his carriage. Silly Sally pushed the carriage and pushed the carriage up this hill and down that one. She pushed the carriage up...

There was a young girl named Heather Whose twitcher was made...
There was a young girl named Heather Whose twitcher was made out of leather. She made a queer noise, Which attracted the boys, By flapping the edges together.

There was a young lady named Wylde Who kept herself quite...
There was a young lady named Wylde Who kept herself quite undefiled By thinking of Jesus; Contagious diseases; And the bother of having a child.

Captain Penny's Law: You can fool all of the people...
Captain Penny's Law: You can fool all of the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time, but you Can't Fool Mom.

Without love intelligence is dangerous; without intelligence...
Without love intelligence is dangerous; without intelligence love is not enough. -- Ashley Montagu

Life is a game. In order to have a game, something has to...
Life is a game. In order to have a game, something has to be more important than something else. If what already is, is more important than what isn't, the game is over. So, life is a game in which what isn't, is more important than what is. Let...