Humor: Best of Fortunes for Monday February 5, 2007

You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish.
You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish.

Grownups are reluctant to take science fiction seriously,...
Grownups are reluctant to take science fiction seriously, and with good reason: sci-fi is a hormonal activity, not a literary one. Its traditional concerns are all pubescent. Secondary sexual characteristics are everywhere, disguised. Aliens have...

Still a few bugs in the system... Someday I have to tell...
Still a few bugs in the system... Someday I have to tell you about Uncle Nahum from Maine, who spent years trying to cross a jellyfish with a shad so he could breed boneless shad. His experiment backfired too, and he wound up with bony jellyfish...

There once was an old man from Esser, Who's knowledge grew...
There once was an old man from Esser, Who's knowledge grew lesser and lesser. It at last grew so small, He knew nothing at all, And now he's a College Professor.

Behind every successful man you'll find a woman with nothing...
Behind every successful man you'll find a woman with nothing to wear.

Mirrors should reflect a little before throwing back images...
Mirrors should reflect a little before throwing back images. -- Jean Cocteau

Rainy days and automatic weapons always get me down.
Rainy days and automatic weapons always get me down.