Humor: Best of Fortunes for Monday December 31, 2012

A notorious whore named Ms. Hearst, In the pleasures of men...
A notorious whore named Ms. Hearst, In the pleasures of men was well-versed. Reads the sign o'er the head Of her well-rumpled bed "The customer always comes first."

A nudist resort at Benares Took a midget in all unawares...
A nudist resort at Benares Took a midget in all unawares. But he made members weep For he just couldn't keep His nose out of private affairs.

A pansy who lived in Khartoum Took a lesbian up to his room...
A pansy who lived in Khartoum Took a lesbian up to his room. They argued all night Over who had the right To do what, with which, and to whom.

A pretty young lady named Vogel Once sat herself down on...
A pretty young lady named Vogel Once sat herself down on a molehill. A curious mole Nosed into her hole -- Ms. Vogel's ok, but the mole's ill.

A pretty young maiden from France Decided she'd "just take...
A pretty young maiden from France Decided she'd "just take a chance." She let herself go For an hour or so, And now all her sisters are aunts.

A princess who lived near a bog Met a prince in the form of...
A princess who lived near a bog Met a prince in the form of a frog. Now she and her prince Are the parents of quints, Four boys and one fine polliwog.

There was a young man of Calcutta, Who tried to write...
There was a young man of Calcutta, Who tried to write "cunt" on a shutter. When he got to c-u, A pious Hindoo Knocked him ass-over-head in the gutter.