Humor: Best of Fortunes for Sunday May 14, 2017

Don't kiss an elephant on the lips today.
Don't kiss an elephant on the lips today.

All the evidence concerning the universe has not yet been...
All the evidence concerning the universe has not yet been collected, so there's still hope.

An anthropologist at Tulane has just come back from a field...
An anthropologist at Tulane has just come back from a field trip to New Guinea with reports of a tribe so primitive that they have Tide but not new Tide with lemon-fresh Borax. -- David Letterman

As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they...
As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain, and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality. -- Albert Einstein

Ask five economists and you'll get five different explanations...
Ask five economists and you'll get five different explanations (six if one went to Harvard). -- Edgar R. Fiedler

At any given moment, an arrow must be either where it is...
At any given moment, an arrow must be either where it is or where it is not. But obviously it cannot be where it is not. And if it is where it is, that is equivalent to saying that it is at rest. -- Zeno's paradox of the moving (still?)...