Humor: Best of Fortunes for Friday May 26, 2017

There was a young Jew of Far Rockaway Whose screams could...
There was a young Jew of Far Rockaway Whose screams could be heard for a block away. Perceiving his error, The Rabbi in terror Cried, "God! I have cut his whole cock away!"

This is not the age of pamphleteers. It is the age of...
This is not the age of pamphleteers. It is the age of the engineers. The spark-gap is mightier than the pen. Democracy will not be salvaged by men who talk fluently, debate forcefully and quote aptly. -- Lancelot Hogben, Science for...

There once was a man from Madras, Whose balls were made out...
There once was a man from Madras, Whose balls were made out of brass. When they clanged together, They played "Stormy Weather", And lightning shot out of his ass.

There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long...
There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, As he wiped off his chin, If my ear were a cunt I could fuck it!

There once was a man from Racine, Who invented a screwing...
There once was a man from Racine, Who invented a screwing machine. Both concave and convex, It could please either sex, But, oh, what a bastard to clean!

There was a young lady from Bright, Whose speed was much faster...
There was a young lady from Bright, Whose speed was much faster than light. She went out one day In a relative way And returned on the previous night.

There was a young lady of Dee Whose hymen was split into...
There was a young lady of Dee Whose hymen was split into three. And when she was diddled The middle string fiddled : "Nearer My God To Thee."

There was a young lady of Dover Whose passion was such that...
There was a young lady of Dover Whose passion was such that it drove her To cry, when you came, "Oh dear! What a shame! Well, now we shall have to start over."

There was a young man from Lynn Whose cock was the size of...
There was a young man from Lynn Whose cock was the size of a pin. Said his girl with a laugh As she felt his staff, "This won't be much of a sin."

There was an old man of Duddee Who came home as drunk as could...
There was an old man of Duddee Who came home as drunk as could be. He wound up the clock With the end of his cock, And buggered his wife with the key.