Humor: Best of Fortunes for Tuesday August 1, 2017

You will be dead within a year.
You will be dead within a year.

A dentist, young doctor Malone, Got a charming girl patient...
A dentist, young doctor Malone, Got a charming girl patient alone, And, in his depravity, Filled the wrong cavity. God, how his practice has grown.

A habit depraved and unsavory Held the bishop of Bingham...
A habit depraved and unsavory Held the bishop of Bingham in slavery Midst screeches and howls He deflowered young owls Which he kept in an underground aviary

A pretty young lady named Vogel Once sat herself down on...
A pretty young lady named Vogel Once sat herself down on a molehill. A curious mole Nosed into her hole -- Ms. Vogel's okay, but the mole's ill.

A thrice-married gal from L.A. Said, "My hymen's intact...
A thrice-married gal from L.A. Said, "My hymen's intact to this day, 'Cause my first (a shrink) talked of it, The voyeur only gawked at it, And my most recent man's a gourmet."

There was an old maid from Cape Cod Who thought all good things...
There was an old maid from Cape Cod Who thought all good things came from god. But it wasn't the almighty Who lifted her nighty, It was Roger, the lodger, by god.