Humor: Best of Fortunes for Monday August 16, 2021

Lord, defend me from my friends; I can account for my enemies...
Lord, defend me from my friends; I can account for my enemies. -- Charles D'Hericault

There was a young plumber named Lee Who was plumbing his girl...
There was a young plumber named Lee Who was plumbing his girl by the sea. She said, "Stop your plumbing, There's somebody coming" Said the plumber, still plumbing, "It's me."

There was a young poet named Dan, Whose poetry never would...
There was a young poet named Dan, Whose poetry never would scan. When told this was so, He said, "Yes, I know, It's because I try to put every possible syllable into that last line that I can."

"One lawyer can steal more than a hundred men with...
"One lawyer can steal more than a hundred men with guns." -- The Godfather

An optimist believes we live in the best world possible;...
An optimist believes we live in the best world possible; a pessimist fears this is true.

Gomme's Laws: (1) A backscratcher will always find...
Gomme's Laws: (1) A backscratcher will always find new itches. (2) Time accelerates. (3) The weather at home improves as soon as you go away.