Humor: Best of Fortunes for Friday November 18, 2022

pessimist: A man who spends all his time worrying about...
pessimist: A man who spends all his time worrying about how he can keep the wolf from the door. optimist: A man who refuses to see the wolf until he seizes the seat of his pants. opportunist: A man who invites...

A clever young man named Eugene Invented a jack-off machine...
A clever young man named Eugene Invented a jack-off machine. On the twenty-third stroke The fuckin' thing broke And beat both his balls to a creame.

A do-it-yourselfer named Alice, Used a dynamite stick for...
A do-it-yourselfer named Alice, Used a dynamite stick for a phallus. She blew her vagina To South Carolina, And her tits landed somewhere in Dallas. A cute friend of hers, Fanny Hill, Used two dynamite sticks for a dil. They...

A fair-haired young damsel named Grace Thought it very, very...
A fair-haired young damsel named Grace Thought it very, very foolish to place Her hand on your cock When it turned hard as rock, For fear it would explode in your face.

A graduate student named Zac Was said to be great in the sack...
A graduate student named Zac Was said to be great in the sack. An inch of his boner Put girls in a coma And two gave them epileptic attacks.

There was a young man of Coblenz Whose ballocks were simply...
There was a young man of Coblenz Whose ballocks were simply immense: It took forty-four draymen, A priest and three laymen To carry them thither and thence.

Q: Do you know what the death rate around here is? A: ...
Q: Do you know what the death rate around here is? A: One per person.

Q: How can you tell when a Burroughs salesman is lying? A:...
Q: How can you tell when a Burroughs salesman is lying? A: When his lips move.

Q: How do you play religious roulette? A: You stand...
Q: How do you play religious roulette? A: You stand around in a circle and blaspheme and see who gets struck by lightning first.

Q: How does a hacker fix a function which doesn't...
Q: How does a hacker fix a function which doesn't work for all of the elements in its domain? A: He changes the domain.

Q: What's the contour integral around Western Europe? A: ...
Q: What's the contour integral around Western Europe? A: Zero, because all the Poles are in Eastern Europe! Addendum: Actually, there ARE some Poles in Western Europe, but they are removable! Q: An English mathematician (I forgot...

Q: What's the difference between Bell Labs and the...
Q: What's the difference between Bell Labs and the Boy Scouts of America? A: The Boy Scouts have adult supervision.