Humor: Best of Fortunes for Wednesday May 11, 2022

DELETE A FORTUNE! Don't some of these fortunes just drive...
DELETE A FORTUNE! Don't some of these fortunes just drive you nuts?! Wouldn't you like to see some of them deleted from the system? You can! Just mail to "fortune" with the fortune you hate most, and we MIGHT make sure it gets expunged.

A bather whose clothing was strewed By breezes that left...
A bather whose clothing was strewed By breezes that left her quite nude, Saw a man come along And, unless I am wrong, You expected this line to be lewd.

There was a girl from Aberystwyth Who brought grain to the mill...
There was a girl from Aberystwyth Who brought grain to the mill to get grist with. The miller's son Jack Laid her flat on her back And united the organs they pissed with.

There was a teenager named Donna Who never said, "No,...
There was a teenager named Donna Who never said, "No, I don't wanna." Two days out of three She would shoot LSD, And on weekends she smoked marijuana.

There was a young bride, a Canuck, Told her husband,...
There was a young bride, a Canuck, Told her husband, "Let's do more than suck. You say that I, maybe, Can have my first baby-- Let's give up this Frenchin' and fuck!"

There was a young lady from Drew Who ended her verse at line...
There was a young lady from Drew Who ended her verse at line two.

There was a young lady from Exeter, So pretty that men craned...
There was a young lady from Exeter, So pretty that men craned their necks at her. One was even so brave As to take out and wave The distinguishing mark of his sex at her.

There was a young lady from Hyde Who ate a green apple...
There was a young lady from Hyde Who ate a green apple and died. While her lover lamented The apple fermented And made cider inside her inside.

There was a young lady from Munich Who had an affair with...
There was a young lady from Munich Who had an affair with a eunuch. At the height of their passion He dealt her a ration

There was a young lady from Norway Who hung by her heels in...
There was a young lady from Norway Who hung by her heels in a doorway. She told her young man, "Get off the divan, I think I've discovered one more way "

There was a young lady from Rheims Who amazingly pissed in four...
There was a young lady from Rheims Who amazingly pissed in four streams. A friend poked around And a fly-button found Lodged tight in her hole so it seems.

There was a young man in Havana, Banged his girl on...
There was a young man in Havana, Banged his girl on a player-piana. At the height of their fever Her ass hit the lever And: yes, he has no banana.

There was a young man named Crockett Whose balls got caught...
There was a young man named Crockett Whose balls got caught in a socket. His wife was a bitch So she threw the switch, And Crockett went off like a rocket.

MOUNT TAPE U1439 ON B3, NO RING
MOUNT TAPE U1439 ON B3, NO RING