Humor: Best of Fortunes for Saturday March 11, 2023

The Least Successful Animal Rescue The firemen's strike...
The Least Successful Animal Rescue The firemen's strike of 1978 made possible one of the great animal rescue attempts of all time. Valiantly, the British Army had taken over emergency firefighting and on 14 January they were called out by...

"All snakes who wish to remain in Ireland will please...
"All snakes who wish to remain in Ireland will please raise their right hands." -- Saint Patrick

Aberdeen was so small that when the family with the car went...
Aberdeen was so small that when the family with the car went on vacation, the gas station and drive-in theatre had to close.

According to the Rand McNally Places-Rated Almanac, the best...
According to the Rand McNally Places-Rated Almanac, the best place to live in America is the city of Pittsburgh. The city of New York came in twenty-fifth. Here in New York we really don't care too much. Because we know that we could beat up their city...

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of...
A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. -- Ogden Nash

A little dog goes into a saloon in the Wild West, and beckons...
A little dog goes into a saloon in the Wild West, and beckons to the bartender. "Hey, bartender, gimme a whiskey." The bartender ignores him. "Hey bartender, gimme a whiskey!" Still ignored. "HEY...

About the only thing on a farm that has an easy time is the dog.
About the only thing on a farm that has an easy time is the dog.

It's no use crying over spilt milk -- it only makes it salty...
It's no use crying over spilt milk -- it only makes it salty for the cat.