Humor: Best of Fortunes for Monday March 11, 2024

Suicide is simply a case of mistaken identity.
Suicide is simply a case of mistaken identity.

Suicide is the sincerest form of self-criticism...
Suicide is the sincerest form of self-criticism. -- Donald Kaul

There once was a fellow named Brewster Who said to his wife,...
There once was a fellow named Brewster Who said to his wife, as he goosed her, "It used to be grand But look at my hand You're not wiping as clean as ya uster."

Ladies and Gentlemen, Hobos and Tramps, Cross-eyed mosquitos...
Ladies and Gentlemen, Hobos and Tramps, Cross-eyed mosquitos and bowlegged ants, I come before you to stand behind you To tell you of something I know nothing about. Next Thursday (which is good Friday), There will be a convention held in the Women's...

Ladles and Jellyspoons! I come before you to stand behind...
Ladles and Jellyspoons! I come before you to stand behind you, To tell you something I know nothing about. Since next Thursday will be Good Friday, There will be a fathers' meeting, for mothers only. Wear your best clothes, if you don't have any,...

Ladybug, ladybug, Look to your stern! Your house is...
Ladybug, ladybug, Look to your stern! Your house is on fire, Your children will burn! So jump ye and sing, for The very first time The four lines above Have been put into rhyme. -- Walt Kelly

Latin is a language, As dead as can be. First it killed...
Latin is a language, As dead as can be. First it killed the Romans, And now it's killing me.

Let us go then you and I while the night is laid out against...
Let us go then you and I while the night is laid out against the sky like a smear of mustard on an old pork pie. "Nice poem Tom. I have ideas for changes though, why not come over?" -- Ezra

Let us treat men and women well; Treat them as if they were...
Let us treat men and women well; Treat them as if they were real; Perhaps they are. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson