Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Friday December 14, 2007

Hail to the sun god He's such a fun god Ra! Ra! Ra!
Hail to the sun god He's such a fun god Ra! Ra! Ra!

A beautiful woman is a picture which drives all beholders nobly...
A beautiful woman is a picture which drives all beholders nobly mad. -- Emerson

God help those who do not help themselves. -- Wilson...
God help those who do not help themselves. -- Wilson Mizner

God helps them that themselves. -- Benjamin Franklin,...
God helps them that themselves. -- Benjamin Franklin, "Poor Richard's Almanac"

Hideously disfigured by an ancient Indian curse?...
Hideously disfigured by an ancient Indian curse? WE CAN HELP! Call (511) 338-0959 for an immediate appointment.

Hire the morally handicapped.
Hire the morally handicapped.

Honesty is for the most part less profitable than dishonesty...
Honesty is for the most part less profitable than dishonesty. -- Plato

I consider a new device or technology to have been culturally...
I consider a new device or technology to have been culturally accepted when it has been used to commit a murder. -- M. Gallaher

I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with...
I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best. -- Oscar Wilde

I'd rather be led to hell than managed to heavan.
I'd rather be led to hell than managed to heavan.

If a thing's worth doing, it is worth doing badly. --...
If a thing's worth doing, it is worth doing badly. -- G.K. Chesterton

If a thing's worth having, it's worth cheating for. --...
If a thing's worth having, it's worth cheating for. -- W.C. Fields

If all else fails, lower your standards.
If all else fails, lower your standards.

It is ridiculous to call this an industry. This is not. This...
It is ridiculous to call this an industry. This is not. This is rat eat rat, dog eat dog. I'll kill 'em, and I'm going to kill 'em before they kill me. You're talking about the American way of survival of the fittest. -- Ray Kroc, founder...

Look, we trade every day out there with hustlers, deal-makers,...
Look, we trade every day out there with hustlers, deal-makers, shysters, con-men. That's the way businesses get started. That's the way this country was built. -- Hubert Allen

Make headway at work. Continue to let things deteriorate...
Make headway at work. Continue to let things deteriorate at home.

McDonald's -- Because you're worth it.
McDonald's -- Because you're worth it.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Money is the root of all evil, and man needs roots.
Money is the root of all evil, and man needs roots.

Money is the root of all wealth.
Money is the root of all wealth.

Moneyliness is next to Godliness. -- Andries van Dam
Moneyliness is next to Godliness. -- Andries van Dam