Humor: Best of Fortunes for Tuesday December 19, 2017

A cautious young fellow named Lodge, Had seatbelts installed...
A cautious young fellow named Lodge, Had seatbelts installed in his Dodge. With his date all strapped in He committed a sin Without even leaving the garage. -- "A Boy and His Dog"

There once was a man from Racine, Who invented a screwing...
There once was a man from Racine, Who invented a screwing machine. Both concave and convex, It could please either sex, But, oh, what a bastard to clean!

I know you believe you understand what you think I said, ...
I know you believe you understand what you think I said, however, I am not sure you realize, that what I think you heard is not what I meant