Humor: Best of Fortunes for Saturday February 20, 2021

A clever young man named Eugene Invented a jack-off machine...
A clever young man named Eugene Invented a jack-off machine. On the twenty-third stroke The goddam thing broke And beat both his balls to a creame.

A habit depraved and unsavory Held the bishop of Bingham...
A habit depraved and unsavory Held the bishop of Bingham in slavery Midst screeches and howls He deflowered young owls Which he kept in an underground aviary

There was a young bride, a Canuck, Told her husband,...
There was a young bride, a Canuck, Told her husband, "Let's do more than suck. You say that I, maybe, Can have my first baby-- Let's give up this Frenchin' and fuck!"

[It is] best to confuse only one issue at a time...
[It is] best to confuse only one issue at a time. -- K&R

The Preacher, the Politician, the Teacher, Were each...
The Preacher, the Politician, the Teacher, Were each of them once a kiddie. A child, indeed, is a wonderful creature. Do I want one? God Forbiddie! -- Ogden Nash

The rhino is a homely beast, For human eyes he's not...
The rhino is a homely beast, For human eyes he's not a feast. Farewell, farewell, you old rhinoceros, I'll stare at something less prepoceros. -- Ogden Nash