Humor: Best of Fortunes for Tuesday February 16, 2021

A bobby of Nottingham Junction Whose organ had long ceased...
A bobby of Nottingham Junction Whose organ had long ceased to function Deceived his good wife For the rest of her life With the aid of his constable's truncheon.

A limerick packs laughs anatomical Into space that is quite...
A limerick packs laughs anatomical Into space that is quite economical. But the good ones I've seen So seldom are clean, And the clean ones so seldom are comical.

A mortician who practised in Fife Made love to the corpse...
A mortician who practised in Fife Made love to the corpse of his wife. "How could I know, Judge? She was cold, did not budge-- Just the same as she'd acted in life."

A princess who reigned in Baroda Made her home on a purple...
A princess who reigned in Baroda Made her home on a purple pagoda. She festooned the walls Of her halls with the balls And the tools of the fools who be-stroda'.

There once was a miner named Dave, Who kept a dead whore in...
There once was a miner named Dave, Who kept a dead whore in his cave. She was ugly as shit, And missing one tit, But think of the money he saves.

There was a young gaucho named Bruno Who said, "Screwing...
There was a young gaucho named Bruno Who said, "Screwing is one thing I do know. A woman is fine, And a sheep is divine, But a llama is Numero Uno."

There was a young man from Nantucket Whose cock was so long...
There was a young man from Nantucket Whose cock was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, While wiping his chin, "If my ear was a cunt, I could fuck it."

When you and I are far apart Can sorrow break your tender...
When you and I are far apart Can sorrow break your tender heart? I love you darling, yes I do; Sleep is so sweet when I dream of you; All you are is a blossoming rose. Night is here so I must close. With care read the first word of each line. You will...