Humor: Best of Fortunes for Monday February 15, 2021

Death before dishonor. But neither before breakfast.
Death before dishonor. But neither before breakfast.

A crusader's wife slipped from the garrison And had an affair...
A crusader's wife slipped from the garrison And had an affair with a Saracen. She was not oversexed, Or jealous or vexed, She just wanted to make a comparison.

A huge-organed female in Dallas, Named Alice, who yearned for...
A huge-organed female in Dallas, Named Alice, who yearned for a phallus, Was virgo intacto, Because, ipso facto, No phallus in Dallas fit Alice.

A lady born under a curse Used to drive forth each day in...
A lady born under a curse Used to drive forth each day in a hearse; From the back she would wail Through a thickness of veil: "Things do not get better, but worse." -- Edward Gorey

A lady from Kalamazoo Once found she had nothing to do, ...
A lady from Kalamazoo Once found she had nothing to do, So she sat on the stairs And she counted her hairs: 4,302.

There once was a couple named Kelley, Who lived their life...
There once was a couple named Kelley, Who lived their life belly to belly. Because in their haste They used library paste, Instead of petroleum jelly.

Such a fine first dream! But they laughed at me; they said...
Such a fine first dream! But they laughed at me; they said I had made it up.