Humor: Best of Fortunes for Monday September 30, 2013

A hypothetical paradox: What would happen in a battle...
A hypothetical paradox: What would happen in a battle between an Enterprise security team, who always get killed soon after appearing, and a squad of Imperial Stormtroopers, who can't hit the broad side of a planet? -- Tom Galloway

There once was a man from Nantucket Whose dick was so long...
There once was a man from Nantucket Whose dick was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin As he wiped off his chin, "If my ear was a cunt, I could fuck it."

There was a young fellow of Burma Whose betrothed had good...
There was a young fellow of Burma Whose betrothed had good reason to murmur. But now that he's married he's Been using cantharides And the root of their love is much firmer.

There was a young woman from Bude, Who went for a swim in...
There was a young woman from Bude, Who went for a swim in the nude, But a man in a punt, Grabbed at her elbow, And said "Hey, lady, you can't swim here, it's private property."

To communicate is the beginning of understanding...
To communicate is the beginning of understanding. -- AT&T

No group of professionals meets except to conspire against...
No group of professionals meets except to conspire against the public at large. -- Mark Twain