Humor: Best of Fortunes for Tuesday May 19, 2020

A mathematician named Hall Has a hexahedronical ball, ...
A mathematician named Hall Has a hexahedronical ball, And the cube of its weight Times his pecker's, plus eight Is his phone number -- give him a call...

A remarkable race are the Persians, They have such peculiar...
A remarkable race are the Persians, They have such peculiar diversions. They screw the whole day In the regular way, And save up the nights for perversions.

There once was a man named McSweeny Who spilled lots of gin...
There once was a man named McSweeny Who spilled lots of gin on his weeney So just to be couth He added vermouth And slipped his best girl a martini.

There once was a young man from France Who waited ten years...
There once was a young man from France Who waited ten years for his chance; Then he muffed it...

There was a young lady of Brabant Who slept with an impotent...
There was a young lady of Brabant Who slept with an impotent savant. She admitted, "We shouldn't, But it turned out he couldn't- So you can't say we have when we haven't."

There was a young woman from Bude, Who went for a swim in...
There was a young woman from Bude, Who went for a swim in the nude, But a man in a punt, Grabbed at her elbow, And said "Hey, lady, you can't swim here, it's private property."

The common cormorant, or shag, Lays eggs inside a paper...
The common cormorant, or shag, Lays eggs inside a paper bag; The reason, you will see, no doubt, Is to keep the lightning out. But what these unobservant birds Have failed to notice is that herds Of bears may come with buns And steal the bags to hold...