Humor: Best of Fortunes for Thursday January 28, 2021

A bather whose clothing was strewed By breezes that left...
A bather whose clothing was strewed By breezes that left her quite nude, Saw a man come along And, unless I am wrong, You expected this line to be lewd.

A broken-down harlot named Tupps Was heard to confess in...
A broken-down harlot named Tupps Was heard to confess in her cups: "The height of my folly Was fucking a collie -- But I got a nice price for the pups."

There was an old man with a beard Who said, "It is just...
There was an old man with a beard Who said, "It is just what I feared! Two owls and a hen, Four larks and a wren Have all built their nests in my beard!"

(1) If you like it, they don't have it in your size. (2) ...
(1) If you like it, they don't have it in your size. (2) If you like it and it's in your size, it doesn't fit anyway. (4) If you like it and it fits, you can't afford it. (5) If you like it, it fits and you can afford it, it ...

Q: How many Martians does it take to screw in...
Q: How many Martians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: One and a half.