Humor: Best of Fortunes for Wednesday January 27, 2021

A very intelligent turtle Found programming UNIX a hurdle ...
A very intelligent turtle Found programming UNIX a hurdle The system, you see, Ran as slow as did he, And that's not saying much for the turtle.

Alexander Graham Bell is alive and well in New York, and still...
Alexander Graham Bell is alive and well in New York, and still waiting for a dial tone.

There was a young fellow named Bill, Who took an atomic pill, ...
There was a young fellow named Bill, Who took an atomic pill, His navel corroded, His asshole exploded, And they found his nuts in Brazil.

There was a young fellow named Blaine, And he screwed some...
There was a young fellow named Blaine, And he screwed some disgusting old jane. She was ugly and smelly With an awful pot-belly, But... well, they were caught in the rain.

There was a young fellow named dick Who had a magnificent...
There was a young fellow named dick Who had a magnificent prick. It was shaped like a prism And shot so much gism It made every cocksucker sick.

There was a young man of Lake Placid Whose prick was lethargic...
There was a young man of Lake Placid Whose prick was lethargic and flaccid. When he wanted to sport He would have to resort To injections of sulphuric acid.

There was a young man of Natal And Sue was the name of...
There was a young man of Natal And Sue was the name of his gal. One day, north of Aden, He got his hard rod in, And came clear up Suez Canal.

There was a young man of Ostend Who let a girl play with...
There was a young man of Ostend Who let a girl play with his end. She took hold of Rover, And felt it all over, And it did what she didn't intend.