Humor: Best of Fortunes for Friday January 29, 2021

A charmer from old Amarillo, Sick of finding strange heads...
A charmer from old Amarillo, Sick of finding strange heads on her pillow, Decided one day That to keep men away She would stuff up her crevice with Brillo.

There once was a Duchess of Beever Who slept with her golden...
There once was a Duchess of Beever Who slept with her golden retriever. Said the potted old Duke : "Such tricks make me puke! Were it not for her money, I'd leave her."

There was a young lady from Wheeling Who claimed to lack sexual...
There was a young lady from Wheeling Who claimed to lack sexual feeling. But a cynic named Boris Just touched her clitoris And she had to be scraped off the ceiling.

There was a young lady in Reno, Who lost all her dough playing...
There was a young lady in Reno, Who lost all her dough playing Keno. But she lay on her back, And opened her crack, So now she owns the Casino!

There was a young man from St. Paul's Who read "Harper's...
There was a young man from St. Paul's Who read "Harper's Bazaar" and "McCall's" Till he grew such a passion For feminine fashion That he knitted a snood for his balls.

There was a young man of Khartoum Who lured a poor girl to...
There was a young man of Khartoum Who lured a poor girl to her doom. He not only fucked her, But buggered and sucked her-- And left her to pay for the room.

There was a young man of Lahore Whose prick was one inch and...
There was a young man of Lahore Whose prick was one inch and no more. It was all right for key-holes And little girl's pee-holes, But not worth a damn with a whore.