Freebsd Fortunes

"I love to eat them Smurfies
 Smurfies what I love to eat
 Bite they ugly heads off,
 Nibble on they bluish feet."

"I may appear to be just sitting here like a bucket of tapioca, but
don't let appearances fool you.  I'm approaching old age ... at the
speed of light."
                -- Prof. Cosmo Fishhawk

"I may not be totally perfect, but parts of me are excellent."
                -- Ashleigh Brilliant

"I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a
week sometimes to make it up."
                -- Mark Twain, "The Innocents Abroad"

I must have slipped a disk -- my pack hurts

"I never fail to convince an audience that the best thing they could do
was to go away."

"I never met a piece of chocolate I didn't like."

I often quote myself; it adds spice to my conversation.
                -- George Bernard Shaw

"I only touch base with reality on an as-needed basis!"
                -- Royal Floyd Mengot (Klaus)

"I played lead guitar in a band called The Federal Duck, which is the
kind of name that was popular in the '60s as a result of controlled
substances being in widespread use.  Back then, there were no
restrictions, in terms of talent, on who could make an album, so we
made one, and it sounds like a group of people who have been given
powerful but unfamiliar instruments as a therapy for a degenerative
nerve disease."
                -- Dave Barry, "The Snake"